Gateway sucks giant, pus seeping monkey balls.

The title pretty much sums up the entire idea. No real need to read further. But I am going to type further, because I want to rant, and you can't really stop me. Following Gateways Tech Support steps, I've managed to really FUBAR the parents computer. Allow me to explain.

My parents computer has been really bogged down as of late. I'm talking, 45 seconds for AIM to load bogged down. Now, granted, it's been over 8 years since they got the computer. It's never had the OS reinstalled or anything of the like. I've been trying to bleed it along for the last year or so off defrags, CCleaner, and other such things, but it's finally hit the point of no fixation without deletation. This is when I found out my parents never got a Gateway recovery CD. So, I contacted Gateway. Enter the first stage of anger.

Now, I've spent most of my life wondering why "older" people dislike automated phone services. They've never really bothered me before. They are simple, to the point, and get you where you need to go without the company having to pay 50 people to do nothing but direct your call. But Gateway...oh boy! I've never in my life worked with such a horribly designed automated service. Ever. It randomly hangs up on you, even mid robotic speech! My very first phone call went as such :

"Thank you for calling Gate...." Dial tone.

I figured it was just a fluke. So I called back.

"Thank you for calling Gateway! Please listen carefully as our options have changed. If you are interested in buying products or service, please press 1. If you are in need of customer support, please press 2" I press 2.

"Thank you for calling Gateway! Please listen carefully as our options have changed. If you are interested in buying products or service, please press 1. If you are in need of customer support, please press 2" ...I press 2.

"Thank you for calling Gateway! Please list..." Dial tone.

WHAT THE FUCK! NERDRAGE ACTIVATE!

So, yah, I finally got ahold of their customer service, who informed me that I could not get a recovery CD from them, because my parents computer is 8 years old, and they no longer support them. Hooray for me! When I asked them how the hell I'm supposed to proceed from here, the guy on the line says "Oh, just get ahold of a copy of a Windows XP Home install CD, and install it using the CD key that is printed on the label on the back of the computer tower." Oh, well shit. That seems easy enough. So, I borrow a XP Home CD from a friend (thanks Dale!), backup all the stuff my parents want to keep to CD, put in the windows CD, reboot, select format drive and install XP Home..and Watch Xmen 2. Eh, it was on TV.

40 minutes later, I see the install is demanding the CD key. So I type in my parents CD key and get.."invalid CD key". Anger level 2 achieved. So, I call Gateway. Gateway says "oh you just need to call Microsoft, they can fix that." I call Microsoft. They say "Uhh..yah, you can't install windows like that. The CD will only work with the Product key provided, no others, gateway screwed up. Call them." So, I battle my way through gateways horrible automated service a third time, and get a guy..and this is the conversation :

Me : "Yeh, CD key not working, Fix it" (I actually explained everything above..but that seemed redundant to add here)

Him : "Uh, I dono why our tech support told you that. That won't work. You're going to have to buy a new copy of windows."

Me : "...Ok, that don't really help me. I followed what your company told me to do, and now I have a giant paperweight. I kinda think it's your problem to fix."

Him : "Yeh, sorry about that. You'll have to buy windows...you said XP?"

Me : "Yes, Windows XP Home."

Him : "Yeh, you're going to have to buy a copy of that. Microsoft pulled them all off the shelves a few months ago, so, good luck finding a copy".

Me : "You're not understanding me. This computer is completely unuseable until we get a new copy of windows..and it's YOUR companies fault."

Him : "Yeh, sorry about that."

Me : "Ok, look, can I speak with your supervisor?"

Him : "I am the supervisor"

Me : "Ok, there is always someone higher on the food chain, I want to speak with your supervisor."

Him : "Uh, I'm the highest person on the food chain in this department."

Me : "Ok...then can I get the number to another department with someone higher on that chain then you?"

Him : "No. We deal with customer support. I'm the best you're going to find."

....

I now combine nerdrage and anger level 2, and with my powers combined I become...

Angry Blogger.

So, with much typing and worthless reading on your part we come to the conclusion, which is where I started.

GATEWAY SUCKS GIANT, PUS SEEPING MONKEY BALLS.


P.S. Gateway won't get away with this. I've been angered. And when I get angered, I get free pizzas, just ask Domino's!

P.P.S. Yay, my blog is finally up, kinda?